ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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