I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
