I am spending my child support on dildos
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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