He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
