oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
