I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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