oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
