I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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