So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
