It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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