he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
