Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
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Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*