hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.