even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No subtext here. People are naked.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.