SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
