I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
