Moan for me like Helen Keller
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My vagina is officially offended.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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