He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
