you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
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