kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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