I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize