I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
