9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
