Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
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