So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
