is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
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I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
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We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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