alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
All the doctor said was why
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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