I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So. Much. Porn.
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