I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
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my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The Olympian is in my bed
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I had to cum in my sink.
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