We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
