? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
so much tequila, so little girl.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
