You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
