You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
