before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
