I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize