Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
