This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
