Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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