that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
