its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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