It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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