Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
