like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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