Rock
Scissors
Fuck
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
