Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
