he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
