Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
