she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
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We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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