He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Alive.
So much puke
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
