So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
