biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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