He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
