Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
