I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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