Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
