You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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