all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
