She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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