It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize