whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
