Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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