Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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