Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
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