there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize