yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
