those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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