Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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