I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
