he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Shame - the story of my life.
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