i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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