The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
