some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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